I was 20 years old when I realized that I had never had an orgasm.
…or rather, I was 20 years old when I first suspected that I had never had an orgasm.
I was having sex, and had been sexually active for 6 years. Sex felt good. I felt pleasure. But the scale of pleasure I experienced didn’t inspire the same enthusiasm in me as it seemed to do in the other girls.
Were they faking?
Maybe they weren’t faking pleasure, but were faking orgasm…faking the extent of their pleasure, the qualities of their pleasure. Not intentionally, but because we (men and women) don’t have the language to talk about corporeal pleasure, how it is understood will never have a clear or stable relationship to truth.
I’m taking a break from reviewing vibrators, and redirecting my focus to all of the nuanced variables of pleasure, climax, and orgasm–how I distinguish between them, when I feel which one, and what each is associated with. So as I intellectualize my sexuality, I’ll offer up my conclusions as “tips” (make.use.of.…right?).