I’m a Camgirl now. And here’s what I’ve learned:
Camming is all about the art of seduction.
Premeditated seduction makes me uncomfortable because I like to believe seduction is a spontaneous process and seductiveness is a natural quality. I truly believe that the kind of connection I form through seduction is singular and irreplicable. It’s magic–our connection. It’s God.
We favor quality over quantity: a fresh pastry over a loaf of Wonderbread, a chocolate truffle over a bag of Tootsie Rolls, a filet over a Double Quarter Pounder.
But when it comes to human interactions this just isn’t true. Time is King. The longer you’ve known someone the more meaningful your relationship. Love is valued like labor: Time is the dominant measure of value. Anything outside of what you’ve clocked just doesn’t “count.”
Films end. So do therapy sessions. A breeze dies. Your sister can only visit you for a week. You dance to a song at the bar and the song fades out. Talk to a stranger and take their advice. Ride a roller coaster. I don’t know…
Maybe we need these scripts to jump off of. Dancing with you is not the same if we’re at my house and I play the song. We need the surprise. A DJ to play the song. A crowd to be a part of. A crowd to distinguish ourselves from, through our connection.
Maybe seduction is just the set-up for the scene for us to play out…the detail given to the improv performers so they can make their magic.
Maybe these set-ups that I view as so unnatural are actually the tool that nature provides us, so we can build our specificities upon it.