When I wrote about my difficulty with orgasm, I got a lot of questions from people asking whether I was talking about my difficulty achieving orgasm or my difficulty achieving female ejaculation. Any confusion is totally understandable. I would estimate that about 2/3 of the people I talk to about female sexual response are not aware that there is a difference between female ejaculation and orgasm. The words orgasm and ejaculation are practically synonymous in American culture. I am aware of this and and since I have been discussing female ejaculation for the past five years or so, it’s important that I distinguish orgasm from female ejaculation if it’s going to be the new focus of my writing.
Having said this, it is very important to understand that orgasm is not female ejaculation. Orgasm and female ejaculation are two very different sexual responses that occur by way of two very different sexual stimuli, are experienced through two very different directions of muscular contraction, and have two very different ways of making their occurrence known. I created this table to help distinguish between the two:
So to clarify, my last post was about my difficulty achieving orgasm, NOT my difficulty achieving female ejaculation. I have never ejaculated. From my understanding, it is an “advanced” sexual ability for most women, and because it is the stimuli that is pleasurable and not necessarily the response itself that is pleasurable, my motivation to achieve female ejaculation is not as strong as my motivation to be orgasmically “regular.” I have difficulty with orgasm, and I think that a lot of other women do, too. And while I find female ejaculation extremely interesting on an intellectual level, having orgasms is and has always been more important to me.