I worked as a bartender for several years, slinging drinks, chatting people up and making a decent amount of money. The one thing I liked about it was that you never knew what was going to happen when you went in. Whenever there were down times, I would find myself talking to guests about random, funny things. One day, a guest told me about a time that he made a girl squirt on him. I was immediately intrigued. He said, with what I believe was without exaggeration, that she literally flooded his bed when she came.
Inspired by his story, I went home and told my boyfriend. I assumed if some random girl could do it, I could too. We tried and tried, but to no avail, never got it to work. However it got me thinking, just because I haven’t been able to yet, doesn’t mean you can’t….
Every woman is built to be able to squirt–also known as gushing and female ejaculation–it just requires the right stimulation, relaxation and desire to do so. But before we begin your lesson in squirting it’s important to mention that female ejaculation is not purely urine. Studies haven’t been able to fully pinpoint the components, but they have discovered that it is part urine, part phosphotase (the same chemical that makes up semen) and then a mix of inconsistent chemicals. So while you may feel like you’re peeing when it happens, rest easy knowing that it isn’t truly urine. This fluid is released when the G-Spot is stimulated, which is actually located in the same spot, just on the opposite wall, as the male prostate.
Now making yourself squirt is going to require a little more than your usual go-to routine, but the effort should prove to be worth it. You’re going to need your hands or a partner. If you find that your fingers aren’t long enough to reach your G-spot or that they tire quickly, check out a G-spot stimulator like the ones they sell at Adam & Eve.
Be sure to go to the bathroom before you try to squirt, this will help you relax and feel confident that you are not going to pee. Once you’ve emptied your bladder, lay back and find your G-spot. I recommend locating it with your fingers at first so that you can understand what it feels like. You can locate it by inserting your finger about 3 inches and making a hook or come hither motion with your finger. Make sure your finger is hooking towards the top wall of your vagina. Now feel around for a small patch that is rougher than the rest of wall–that’s your g-spot.
Now either recruit the help of your partner or a G-spot stimulator, or combine the two. Have them stimulate your G-spot by rubbing back and forth on it. You will feel it become more sensitive as it becomes engorged. If they are touching you right, you will probably feel like you have to pee. It’s important to ignore this feeling. You won’t be able to squirt if you can’t ignore it.
Have them continue to stimulate you and help out by stimulating yourself. The more aroused you can get the better. If you continue to stay relaxed, you’ll eventually feel your orgasm build. At this point, you have to let go. As women, we tend to suck in our pelvic muscles during an orgasm, but you need to do the exact opposite. Focus on pushing them out, this will help push the fluid down and out and maximize your orgasm. At this point, you should be able to squirt and once you do, you can expect to see anywhere from a teaspoon of fluid all the way up to 1/4 of a cup.
The best thing about squirting is that it’s much easier to achieve once you’ve unlocked it. You’ll also be able to achieve g-spot orgasms a lot more in general. I’m going to keep trying and so should you. Have fun exploring, practice makes perfect.
This is a transcript of the talk I gave following a screening of my documentary, Female Ejaculation: Perceptions, at the 2009 Paris International Lesbian and Feminist Film Festival. I have an mp3 of the talk, but because I don’t speak French and the Parisian lesbians and feminists didn’t speak English, there are too many translations, silences and oh-do-you-mean’s to make a proper podcast out of it.
We have come together at the 2009 Paris International Lesbian and Feminist Film Festival to share creative works that address the theme of pleasure. However, female ejaculation is not about pleasure. Female ejaculation is about knowledge. Thus I will be momentarily redirecting our focus away from the unifying theme of the festival, and hope that I will be forgiven. Certainly my chances will be greater after my brief talk and Q & A period, when the lovely Judy Minx will grace us with her presence to lead a workshop on pleasure and anatomy.
After viewing Female Ejaculation: Perceptions, you may be surprised to learn of my concern with knowledge. My documentary provides very little of what we recognize to be “fact” or “truth.” The few truths and facts that are included are more often than not presented as contradictory, and you may catch yourself confused, questioning whether the subjects are all talking about the same thing.
You are absolutely right to question this. Many of the subjects make no distinction between orgasm, female ejaculation, squirting, gushing, or vaginal secretions, and as the director and editor, neither did I. There is not even full consensus amongst the interviewees about whether female ejaculation is real or fake. Essentially, the documentary is twelve minutes and forty-five seconds worth of rumors. Another way to say this is “about thirteen minutes worth of perceptions.
Why perceptions? Why not expert opinions? Research? Experiences?
The information presented in Female Ejaculation: Perceptions is an indirect reflection of that produced by the scientific community. There is no consensus amongst scientists about what female ejaculation is made of, how it is made, how it is expelled, and even whether or not it exists at all. In the UK, for example, the existence of female ejaculation is formally rejected. When it pops up in pornographic images it is censored by the BBFC, which claims that it is urine and therefore obscene.
I was wrong in my documentary when I narrated that there is an increasing body of knowledge developing on female ejaculation. There is not, and there will not be until there is a way for the pharmaceutical industry to profit.
Unfortunately, there was not enough time for me to say everything that I had planned to say. When you return home to conduct your research—in whatever form that may take—be critical of your sources, use many, check them against each other, and most importantly produce your own resources and share them with others. I’d now like to invite you to ask questions and join the conversation, and hope that we can remain focused on these issues of knowledge and recognition.
This weekend I attended one of Detroit’s favorite community gatherings–Marche du Nain Rouge. Each spring, Detroiters gather in the Cass Corridor for a celebration ritual in which they get to call upon a myth from the city’s founding and “chase the red dwarf” out of the city. According to legend, an evil red dwarf will be seen in the streets prior to violent tragedies, beginning with an attack of the first white settler in Detroit in 1701 and including Detroit’s surrender in the War of 1812, the Battle of Bloody Run, and the 1967 riots. All of these events are struggles over race and territory.
About 3 seconds after it crossed my mind that the “nain rouge” (“red dwarf”) is probably a reference to Native Americans and that historically, the myth was probably used to villainize Native Americans in Detroit, I saw this:
The woman holding this sign is Doc. She stood alone at the beginning of the Marche du Nain Rouge, affecting the necessary shock to present some critical information that seems to have been lost somewhere in Detroit’s compulsion for community. By the end of the parade, a small group gathered around Doc and conversations ensued about race relations in Detroit, the relationship between the historical European American oppression of Native Americans and African Americans, the lacking conversation about race in Detroit, the practice of ritual, and the making and re-making of meaning. You can watch a video of Doc explaining the history of Marche du Nain Rouge on the sidelines of the parade in the Cass Corridor.
What do you think–how much history still exists in this newly-revived Detroit tradition?